Mojo’s Favourite Cover Version
Often people say, fuck me Mojo, it has to be Jeff Buckley’s version of “Hallelujah”. Aye, it’s grand like but it’s filled with such melancholic despair it’s hard to bare. I used to listen to it when I was younger when I thought aliens were coming to invade the Earth. I shivered myself to sleep and then I’d wake up at 3 am and when realised I wasn’t being abducted by aliens I'd wank into a container which I would put into a cryogenic chamber. Then usually I'd bury it about 10 feet down in my back yard..often bursting pipes on the way down. I'd go to bed covered in mud and weep til dawn. All so that my sperm would one day impregnate an embryo so that my children could listen to Jeff Buckley just like me.
Then there’s the aggression of Jimi hendrix’s version of “All along the watchtower”. Which is just lovely but it just kills the standard. It’s like watching a man with a monster penis fuck a dwarf. It is excellent though yet it isn’t my favourite.
Then there’s all of Johnny Cash’s American series. They’re all beautiful and touching. Fuck all them I say. Most of the time you’re thinking...poor Johnny, he must have dementia. It’s very hard to do a good cover of a song that’s already good and he picks some of the best songs ever written. Watching The video for “hurt” is like watching someone design an interactive two-dimensional headstone. Poor Johnny, at least he’s got the Lord.
One of the funniest cover I've heard is “People = Shit” by Richard cheese. It was originally recorded by the loveable heavy rock outfit Korn. It’s close but no cigar. "Kathleen" by Tindersticks is also ao song I listen alot to when I'm feeling sorry for myself so it can never win.
Then there’s Sinead O’ Connors “nothing compares 2 U”. its a marvellous interpretation. However when you’ve seen an orange faced morbidly obese girl slow-dancing hand in hand with her brother to it at a local teen disco, its emotional punch wears off. It’s still a brilliant cover. She also ripped up a photo of the Pope on television which more or less ended her career in the USA. God help our wee Sinead. It's probably one of my favourite recordings by a human being. It's desolate, aching, world-weary and beautiful. But it's not my favourite cover version.
My favourite cover is “Help me make it through the night” by Bryan Ferry. It just oozes sex. Look at the cover of the album for fuck sake. I will agree, Bryan Ferry has fucked up many songs. He’s shat over them with a Tyneside-like bravado. But here he has given the Kris Kristofferson penned classic the freaky Englishman treatment. He’s saying now to the Kris Kristofferson song...You used to be sweet country farmhouse sex-song? Well, now You are a penis in the glory hole of some dirty bastards sex dungeon in central Sheffield kinda song. The song has been covered from everyone from Elvis to Ike and Tina Turner and our Bryan comes out on top. I don’t condone Bryan Ferry’s behaviour at all and I am odds with the song if I’m honest. . How is Bryan Ferry’s better than them all? Fuck knows. It’s just class. You know on initial listening that KY Jelly is also required to help Bryan Ferry make it through the night. And that makes it real. None of this hugging by twilight shite and talking- about-where-you-had-your-first-kiss-bollocks. It’s hardcore deep pounding in Bryan’s case. Do you want to help Bryan Ferry make it through the night? Baby, you better get lubed up. He’s lived a life we can only be in awe of.
If you can’t find Bryan Ferry’s classic album “another time, another place,” sometimes when someone you love sings a song even if it’s out of tune I often think that’s maybe the best cover version there is, even if it is really shit. It’s not expecting to be on an advert for yoghurts or doesn’t yearn to sail a yacht around French Polynesia. It’s a version of a song just for your pleasure and when you hear that cover version in that moment it is the most wondrous cover version of all.
Often people say, fuck me Mojo, it has to be Jeff Buckley’s version of “Hallelujah”. Aye, it’s grand like but it’s filled with such melancholic despair it’s hard to bare. I used to listen to it when I was younger when I thought aliens were coming to invade the Earth. I shivered myself to sleep and then I’d wake up at 3 am and when realised I wasn’t being abducted by aliens I'd wank into a container which I would put into a cryogenic chamber. Then usually I'd bury it about 10 feet down in my back yard..often bursting pipes on the way down. I'd go to bed covered in mud and weep til dawn. All so that my sperm would one day impregnate an embryo so that my children could listen to Jeff Buckley just like me.
Then there’s the aggression of Jimi hendrix’s version of “All along the watchtower”. Which is just lovely but it just kills the standard. It’s like watching a man with a monster penis fuck a dwarf. It is excellent though yet it isn’t my favourite.
Then there’s all of Johnny Cash’s American series. They’re all beautiful and touching. Fuck all them I say. Most of the time you’re thinking...poor Johnny, he must have dementia. It’s very hard to do a good cover of a song that’s already good and he picks some of the best songs ever written. Watching The video for “hurt” is like watching someone design an interactive two-dimensional headstone. Poor Johnny, at least he’s got the Lord.
One of the funniest cover I've heard is “People = Shit” by Richard cheese. It was originally recorded by the loveable heavy rock outfit Korn. It’s close but no cigar. "Kathleen" by Tindersticks is also ao song I listen alot to when I'm feeling sorry for myself so it can never win.
Then there’s Sinead O’ Connors “nothing compares 2 U”. its a marvellous interpretation. However when you’ve seen an orange faced morbidly obese girl slow-dancing hand in hand with her brother to it at a local teen disco, its emotional punch wears off. It’s still a brilliant cover. She also ripped up a photo of the Pope on television which more or less ended her career in the USA. God help our wee Sinead. It's probably one of my favourite recordings by a human being. It's desolate, aching, world-weary and beautiful. But it's not my favourite cover version.
My favourite cover is “Help me make it through the night” by Bryan Ferry. It just oozes sex. Look at the cover of the album for fuck sake. I will agree, Bryan Ferry has fucked up many songs. He’s shat over them with a Tyneside-like bravado. But here he has given the Kris Kristofferson penned classic the freaky Englishman treatment. He’s saying now to the Kris Kristofferson song...You used to be sweet country farmhouse sex-song? Well, now You are a penis in the glory hole of some dirty bastards sex dungeon in central Sheffield kinda song. The song has been covered from everyone from Elvis to Ike and Tina Turner and our Bryan comes out on top. I don’t condone Bryan Ferry’s behaviour at all and I am odds with the song if I’m honest. . How is Bryan Ferry’s better than them all? Fuck knows. It’s just class. You know on initial listening that KY Jelly is also required to help Bryan Ferry make it through the night. And that makes it real. None of this hugging by twilight shite and talking- about-where-you-had-your-first-kiss-bollocks. It’s hardcore deep pounding in Bryan’s case. Do you want to help Bryan Ferry make it through the night? Baby, you better get lubed up. He’s lived a life we can only be in awe of.
If you can’t find Bryan Ferry’s classic album “another time, another place,” sometimes when someone you love sings a song even if it’s out of tune I often think that’s maybe the best cover version there is, even if it is really shit. It’s not expecting to be on an advert for yoghurts or doesn’t yearn to sail a yacht around French Polynesia. It’s a version of a song just for your pleasure and when you hear that cover version in that moment it is the most wondrous cover version of all.
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